I feel like I haven't written anything in ages. I keep having these inspirational moments so I jot something down and that is as far as it goes. I enjoy writing and just knew that this blog would be something my husband would have to tear away from me. However, my focus has actually not been on me, so I haven't had time to write. Because we should try to do something that fulfills us daily, I decided that I would aim for 5 minutes of writing even if nothing gets posted. Well I had that goal set days ago and I haven't done it until now. As I began to write this I realized that I have been fulfilled with meeting the needs of my family or at least trying.
Life is slowing down around here. The home school group that we are a part of is done for the school year. In addition to that the bible study classes at our church that I am in charge of organizing are ending as well. In a couple of weeks I will be free from all outside obligations other than working part time. I am really looking forward to this. You don't realize how fast you have been going until you begin to slow down. Over the past two years I have felt like I was on a roller coaster. Busyness is the name of the roller coaster and I don't even know why I agreed to ride it. I am sure that I didn't think it would be as bad as it was. However, I feel as if I am quickly moving and then slowing down just enough to round the next curve. Busyness has caused me to lose sight of what really mattered and that is my ministry in my home.
Being a wife and a mom not to mention homeschooling is a huge responsibility and I wasn't looking at it that way. I figured I could get by just doing the basics but pretty soon you minimize even that. Well that is about to change. I have realized that the years I am blessed to be home with my boys are crucial and I need to limit how much I do outside my home so that I can be fully present when I am at home. You see, everything we agree to do takes time away from other things. It doesn't matter how big or how small, it takes time. What I am starting to do is decide what is truly worth my time. I need to decide how what I say yes to will affect my ability to fulfill my responsibilities to my husband, kids and our home. These are my first areas of ministry. These are the first places God called me to and if being somewhere else causes disruption with those areas then I need to decide what is more important, for me.
Some of the steps I am taking to help me learn to slow down and just "be" has been by reading a book titled, "Sacred Rhythms". I am being mentored while going through this book and being taught what it means to be silent before God and to listen for Him to speak. These silent moments have also taught me how to manage the daily stressful moments of being a mom. But it all starts with time with God before I start my day. Now by nature I am a talker so being silent isn't easy because my brain keeps going. But I set a timer for 5min (my goal is to build up to more time) and then I just sit there in slience. Sometimes I say things like, "Here I am Lord" or "Speak to me Lord". Sometime He does and sometimes He doesn't but the point is to be available and to be open to hearing Him speak. I will post more, later, about my journey through these spiritual practices or disciplines as they are called.
Another thing I am doing is listening to an audio book called "Getting Things Done" by David Allen. I chose to do an audio book so that I wouldn't have another book to read. I listen to it during my drive to work. This book is teaching me how to get control of the chaos that I have been feeling around me. It shows you how to get a better handle on your "stuff" as he calls it which includes both mental stuff and physical stuff. Through this "GTD" process things around me are being simplified. I will be talking about this more later as well. The book is giving me the motivation I need to deal with all the clutter I produce. Once mommy has her things in place I can train the troops. Hopefully they will grow up with a practice of keeping things in order but not being anal. You gotta have a little flexibility or else you get overwhelmed.
The last thing I have been doing is trying be practice Sabbath which is setting aside a day to rest. This is a challenge for me so I am starting by trying to have a slower more restful day once a week. I work weekends so the day I chose is Monday. We take the day off from school and I do minimal chores. I plan to talk about this more in a later post.
I am trying to model these things instead of saying, "do as I say and not as I do"; but this is hard. Well I think that's about it for now. You are caught up with what been going on around here.